Back to school

Just so I never get bored with how predictable life is, yesterday it was J who had a hard time, not T! T just wandered off to his class line insisting he had to “go over there and be hilarious” because “that’s my job in this class … to be funny!” 😜
Poor J however! I’m not sure that hehad fully processed what the new school year was going to be like until he entered the hall and everything was different – different class groupings, new teachers … he panicked! 
The saddest part was that J is just now at 10 developing an awareness of others perceptions of him (which is developmentally a good thing but harder than being oblivious!!). He wanted to hold my hand but he was worried the other kids would think he was being “babyish”. 😦
He was so sad, tears streaming down his face. He put his little hand in mine and then withdrew it. 

J: Mum, I don’t think I should hold your hand because the kids might think I’m being a baby.

M: Well it really doesn’t matter what others think – it’s about what you need. So if you need to hold my hold just hold it! But I won’t be sad if you don’t need or want to hold my hand. I understand you’re getting bigger.

J: <<tear stained face and whispering>> The thing is mum – I really do want to hold your hand. But I don’t think I should.

M: Well how about we just hold hands in private and then just imagine we are holding hands when we are in public?

J: OK mum xxx
<<mother’s heart breaking into a million pieces … >>
So I left him with a beautiful teacher. He was very upset and trying to run to me, begging me not to leave him. But he ultimately regrouped and had a great day. 
This morning …
J: Right Mum. Let’s do a tally! Today is …. day 2 of school! Well … I’ve got a lot of new stuff to deal with but I think I’ve got this school thing sorted now!! 😊

Today as we neared school just now J said: “Mum, you know we’ve got issues with you coming into school. So today I think T and I will walk in without you. No offense mum … I just think you might handle it better!!” 😂

5 thoughts on “Back to school

  1. Oh, Libby my heart aches for you and J as he transitions into being that bit more independent. I wish him every success this year as he ventures into the world a little more.

  2. Oh my dear friend a very difficult day for both of you…..the good is that J has sorted it out in his mind so now he will go with joy in his heart…the boys are growing up and you have given them so much support and love so to leave them at the gate and not walk in means you have done your job well…given them the encouragement and strength to step out alone…I am so very proud of you even though a piece of your heart felt the change…..hugs for you…it was hard for me too when Colin no longer needed me to go with him….

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