Tom: I don’t understand why everyone is always talking about God all the time.
Me: Well … it’s probably because He created the world and He gave us Jesus.
Tom: Yes but Jesus actually came down to earth and walked around here. God didn’t do that so why are we talking about Him all the time? Why does He get to be the boss when Jesus did all the hard work? He even died!!!!
Me talking to Husband: I’m not sure how I’m going to juggle everything today! Some days all I seem to do is juggle!
Tom: Mum, why don’t you just order a clown? They are expert jugglers?
Tom (from the rear of the car): James, you are being an f***wit!
Me: (horrified!) Tom! That is a red word. Children may not use that word … ever!
Tom: So it’s a swear word?
Me: Yes! That word is a red word and not for children to use. There are plenty of other words you could choose instead of that word.
Tom: OK Mum (silence follows …. then …) But Mum … there’s a problem with that.
Me: What’s the problem, Tom?
Tom: Well if you’re actually BEING an f***wit, there really isn’t any other word to use! If you’re being an f***wit, you’re just an f***wit!