Autism Awareness Day #26


More random quotes and stories from my two cherubs:  Apologies if there are a few you’ve heard before …


When Tom was about 18 months old we were parked outside a local Chemist in a small shopping complex. We had popped in to pick up some fruit and veges from the Fruit Mart alongside the Chemist’s shop.  We were both in the car ready to go home when I realised that I had left something in the car boot.  I jumped out of the car and went to the boot to get it out.  As I closed the boot, I heard the sound of the central locking being engaged.  I looked into the car and somehow Tom was out of his car seat and in the front driver’s seat right by the central locking button.  He had never shown me that he could get out of his car seat! I told myself to “just breathe” – that there would be a way to solve this problem!  I quickly realised there was no way to solve the problem at all.  Panic!  I sheepishly went into the Chemist and explained what had happened.  Tom by this stage had discovered the indicators, windscreen wipers and the grand finale … the horn!  It was hideous!  I requested to use the phone in the Chemist. By this time, Tom had assembled a crowd of highly entertained onlookers.  He was having the time of his life!  When I reached RACQ, of course they focused on “baby locked in a car” and within 2-3 minutes there were two RACQ vehicles and two ambulances in attendance with flashing lights and sirens!!! I was so embarrassed! By this time, Tom was watching Fireman Sam in his car seat and he’d helped himself to an apple from the fruit and veges just purchased.  He simply enjoyed the movie whilst everyone moved mountains around him.  Our rescuers thought he was the cutest thing ever and he was treated to a tour of the trucks and the ambulance.  I’m not entirely sure that he learnt anything that day …. 😀


One morning James and I arrived to AEIOU (Autism Early Intervention Outcomes Unit) some minutes late. He was about 3 years old.  My phone rang.  As I rummaged around in my handbag to locate my phone, James got himself out of his car seat and climbed into the front of the car with me.  He was completely overstimulated and I was trying desperately to finish the phone call so we could get out.  As I was struggling with him and finishing my phone call, he reached up and swung his full body weight off the rear vision mirror.  Almost instantly, the mirror snapped off the glass and the windscreen imploded!  Not happy Jan!

I was rehearsing for an upcoming large Catholic event in the local Cathedral.  There were a large number of us assembling for a choral rehearsal.  Thomas came with me and Chris was to pick him up within 15 or so minutes.  We went for a walk around the Cathedral.  All of his observations were amusing and completely ungodly!  He kept referring to the Cathedral as a Castle on top note.  He made a few interesting comments about one of the sculptures which was of a grieving Mary holding her dead son, Jesus.  You can imagine! We then went down to the rear of the church (to get FAR away from the ear shot of others!)  A previous Bishop is buried under the floor at the rear of the Cathedral.  Tom was asking me what it was all about.  I explained directly and simply.  Chris soon arrived and took Tom home.  When I returned home, I was bathing the boys and noticed that Tom had a large bush tick on him.  The boys had been visiting mum and dad who live on acreage outside of town.  I told Tom that I would have to remove the tick!  He started crying hysterically!  “This tick is going to suck out all my blood.  Get it off, Mum!  If this tick sucks out all my blood, I’ll die.  And if I do die … PLEASE don’t put me under the floor of that castle with that old dead guy!”  Methinks I said too much J

The Lollipop man at the boys’ school spent months last year saying “G’day Tiger!” to Tom, only to have him respond, “I’m not a tiger. I’m Tom!”


“James, do you know this song?” (*insert my hearty rendition of ‘The Grand old Duke of York’ here*) “Mummy, please stop singing … that’s not a song, it’s a nursery rhyme”. I stand corrected!

“Look Mummy, there’s a cow”. “Yes, James! That cow is eating that lovely green grass for breakfast. What a good cow eating his breakfast!” “Yes Mummy. That cow needs to go home to his mother and get a sticker for being such a good boy!”

When the boys were younger, I purchased a bike trailer so I could pedal them around the local streets as they both loved wheels and the movement.  In honesty, I always favoured the downward hills and the flat stretches … pulling two toddlers behind you on a push bike is pretty hard work – particularly when they’re using the safety flag on the back of the trailer to up-end every empty wheelie bin on the street along the way! Sheesh 😀

Random James quote #2567 – “Tom! Stop that! You’re giving me the CREEKS!”.

In Prep, James insisted that God was called “God, the giver of life!” because his school prayer starts that way! I explained it to him but he continued to mutter “the giver of life” after my “God” every time!!!

Random James quote #1097:  <<insert James dramatically breathing in and out>> Mum – I’m hammocking … I’m hammocking!!!!!  (also known as panicking!)

When James was turning 6, I asked him if he would like to come to the shops with me to choose a present. His response – ” I’ll stay here because the shops are too noisy and I don’t like it! You just send pictures to dad’s phone ok? And then I can choose something. Is that a good idea?”. How’s that for a great strategy?

Random James quote #2456:  I asked James to take the rubbish out for me. His response … “Ohhh! Why do I always get the lousy ops?” {{operations}} Yet another of his appropriately placed Star Wars quotes!

Random James quote #1357: “Quit your whining Cyril” – directed at Tom who was objecting to the long car trip! This is a phrase borrowed from “Blinky Bill”!

Random James quote #1531:  “What would you like to do, Your Highness?” – directed at me!

Random James quote #2121:  Responding “Present Mistress” when his name was called on the morning roll at school.  Another Star Wars reference.


The boys requested if they could help me with my cooking.  I was preparing lamb shanks and barley soup in the slow cooker.

James: Mum! There’s blood on this!

Mum: Yes James, there is because it’s meat. It’s called lamb shanks.

James: Lamb?

Mum: Yes – lamb!

James: What do you mean, lamb?

Mum: Well, you know when we go to the farm and the Mummy sheep have babies? They are called lambs!

James: ((running shrieking from the room)) TOOOOOOMMMM! Mum is cooking baby lambs in the crockpot. Their legs are being cooked Tom! Mum’s actually cooking baby sheep legs!!!!”

Tom: ((flying into the room indignantly and reproachfully!)) Mum! Why would you DO that?

I guess I may need to accept that James will never eat meat! And now … neither will his brother! Sigh!


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